I dont know how to be happy for you

Friday, January 20th, 2017 Comments
i dont know how to be happy

I’m facing a really weird struggle lately. All these wonderful things are happening to the people around me. They’re getting promotions, having weddings, welcoming babies, or achieving some other milestone that interrupts their life. But… I don’t know how to be happy for them.

I’m 27 now. In the past 2 years, I’ve gotten married, had a baby, received a huge promotion & raise, started meditating, renovated my house, paid off some debts, and hit several other small milestones. I think because I now know for myself how much those events interrupt my life, I feel like I can’t properly celebrate them for anyone else. In other words, I am now too excited for them.

At work, my husband is responsible for readying junior salespeople for a role in the field. He literally measures success by the number of promotions. Yet, every time another person gets promoted, I an nearly in tears with excitement for them. I want to send them a gift basket, I say. He says no, that’s overkill.

My dad recently proposed. I think about it every day. I know that he and his fiance both are still celebrating, and I asked everyone around me to help me continue celebrating their engagement for a few more weeks until they started wedding planning, and I feel guilty still today that I didn’t do a better job (I sucked at 2016 though)

These are just two examples. This same struggle happens when my friend tells me she’s changing her diet. Or when my brother adopts a puppy. Or basically any time I get an update from someone in my life, regardless of how close I am to them.

How should I express happiness for them?

If I make a gift, is it creepy? Or maybe they want to hear that I am almost as excited as they are? This is a sincere struggle for me! I am working through it in baby steps, and I welcome feedback. So far, I’ve worked out that being too excited for someone can’t be a bad thing. It’s like the saying “I’d rather be the one that smiled than the one who didn’t smile back.”

I have also committed to myself to continue working at it in order to achieve the best balance between acknowledgement and over the top. It is important to me to impart sincere excitement, and I’ll figure out how to do that.

Again, though, if you know how… tell me.

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