I have two choices

Monday, October 9th, 2017 Comments

4:28 AM I hear a cry. My newborn is stirring in her Rock and Play a few feet away from my bed on the couch. I wait to see if she’s really awake.

4:30 AM Ok, ok. Good morning, honey. I have sustenance in my bra for you.
4:40 AM You’re full? Great. Can we close our eyes a little longer? I know your sister will be up in a little more than an hour.
4:42 AM Nope? Awesome. Sure, let’s cycle through playtime, diaper change, boob for a little while.
6:12 AM I hear toddler yelling, “MOMMY”. Dad is sleeping in the room next to her. I know that if I get up now, I’ll be asleep by 6 PM.  I also know that my husband is very likely pretending not to hear her yelling.  That leaves me with two options:
  1. I could wait out husband. He will hear her and eventually get her a bowl of dry Cheerios and an episode of Sesame Street before parking himself on the couch and going back to sleep.
  2. I could also get up and get toddler. Simultaneously give her attention while getting a jump on all my tasks for the day.

Toddler seems quiet. Monitor is on my phone, which is dead. I decide to wait for a few minutes.

6:31 AM Newborn finally back to sleep.
6:48 AM Really, husband? She’s yelling “POOP” now. Can’t ignore that. I guess I am taking option two. I tell myself it works in my favor anyway because I won’t have to undo the carnage from husband’s “nap”.
6:55 AM Poop changed. Toddler eating breakfast. I empty and reload the dishwasher with last night’s dinner and drinks. I collect the middle of the night diapers and various clothing that was discarded before bedtime and start the laundry. I take out the trash.
7:24 AM Toddler wakes up newborn. That was a great 55 minute nap, I guess. Lucky event for toddler because now her doll can borrow the Rock and Play. I finish folding yesterday’s load of laundry and sit down to feed newborn.
7:30 AM I realize I’ve been trying to calculate the time between naps for too long. Waking up two hours before the sun sucks.
7:44 AM I’m so tired. Yes, honey, the dog is outside. Yes, the baby’s eyes are open. Can you whisper that?
8:22 AM I hear the toilet upstairs. Yay! Husband is up! Help!
8:29 AM I kiss husband good morning. He makes a cup of coffee.
8:34 AM “MOM-MY! You cominn??” Yes, toddler, I was bouncing your sister to sleep, but I’ll come to your play kitchen since you asked so nicely.
8:46 AM Baby is asleep. I excuse myself from toddler to put her down in the Rock and Play. I find husband drinking his coffee on the couch and setting his lineup. I don’t express my frustration with his choices this morning.
10:00 AM I’ve been awake 5 and a half hours now. It’s been more of the same. Husband marginally helps with the kids, but is trying to paint a room upstairs today. Man I’m so tired. I contemplate whether we need the room painted.
12:42 PM Made good headway on the chores and to do list. Newborn sleeping. Toddler ready for nap. I ask husband if I can take a shower. He says yes.
12:45 PM Podcast set up on the Sonos and I step in. I’ll savor these 15 minutes to myself.
12:46 PM Podcast is gone. Husband turned it off so he could put toddler to sleep. It was a good 60 seconds.
1:28 PM Ok, this is a lot of bright red blood in my underwear. I showered only half an hour ago. Doctor says this means I’m doing too much. No shit.
1:34 PM I nurse the newborn again. She is milk drunk. Falls asleep.
1:39 PM I enjoyed that 5 minutes of baby snuggle and sitting down. I again have two choices:
  1. Put newborn in the Rock & Play and take advantage of the ability to work at a normal pace
  2. Take a nap while everyone is accounted for…

I take option two again, ignoring the nagging voice in my head and staying right where I am. I close my eyes. I realize I will regret this when the day is over, and there is more to do.

3:31 PM “MOM-MY???”

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